Blog

Listening to What You Want


In a previous blog, I talked about listening to your own thoughts by doing a brain dump onto paper. Today we're going to talk about listening as a way to know what you want.

As adults, especially moms, we often lose the ability to know what we want - especially if our life is pretty good. I remember that disconcerting feeling when I was a young mom and realized that I had checked all the boxes. I had reached all the life goals I had set for myself - education, marriage, home, children. I loved that I had accomplished those, but I still had another 70-80 years to live and no direction. There had to be something more.

We often feel guilty for wanting more – after all, if I already have "everything I want," what right do I have to ask for more?


Recently I was reminded that God delights to bless us. 1 Corinthians 2:9 states, "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him." It's time to tune into your inner voice again and allow yourself to want what you want.


We have some underlying cultural beliefs that can keep us from tapping into our desires. First, you may believe wanting is selfish. However, have you considered that the more you have physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially the more you have to bless the world and become a better member of the collective group?


Second, sometimes we also believe wanting is ungrateful - that somehow if we want more, we aren't grateful for what we have. Jody Moore helped clarify this for me with this example. I can have a child and love her and still want another child. I can love that child to the ends of the earth, be eternally grateful for her, and find so much joy in being her mom and still want another child. I can want from abundance rather than lack of selfishness.


Finally, another belief we have is that wanting is childish – that it shows a lack of control, like a child having a temper tantrum. This doesn't have to be the case. What if wanting is actually a way of becoming more of who you are? What you want is important. Our deepest desires reveal our gifts, talents, and values. If we pay attention to what we truly want, we can become more authentic and contribute what only we can contribute to the world.


In the end, it's the process– the by-product of getting what you want - that actually matters. The process of getting what we want requires us to overcome limiting beliefs, try new things, change our mindset, and make new connections with people. No matter how frivolous you think your desire is, you grow from striving for what you want.